Respectfully, we don’t need another brand or store that stops at a size 14.

I am writing late tonight because to be honest, I've been seething with quiet rage about the state of plus-size fashion and the representation of plus-size bodies in fashion for a little while now. It stews and it festers and snippets of lines, of what I want to say, roll through my head while I do mundane things like unpack the dishwasher or (like my present situation) try to go to sleep.

So tonight I am going to write an open letter to you all and get it off my chest. As a plus-size person I want to try and explain the things that have me so worked up in my head. I know that for some of you these things will seem ridiculous, to some it will be things you have never in your life considered and for some, hopefully I'm able to articulate the similar rage that you feel and you can use it to have a conversation with people around you. Or at the very least feel validated for your own sense of discontent.

I want you to picture that it's Saturday morning. You have an event that evening and you have to find something to wear at the last minute. You leg it to your local shopping centre, or maybe to that gorgeous high end boutique that just opened. You browse through the racks, try on 4-5 gorgeous options, pick your favourite and buy it. Job done. You have a coffee, life is good. If you just smiled and nodded or even just vaugley related to that scenario you are 99% likely to be a size 14 or below.

As a size 16 this scenario starts to get a bit dicey. There are styles available but not as many. That high end boutique only stocks brands that make up to a size 14 if you're lucky (and even then they don't stock many of those). If a brand makes up to a 16 but is a small fit then you're stuffed there. And those brands that do fit often have limited size 16s available, and in my experience, never in the style you want.

For anyone above a size 16 this scenario becomes a nightmare. Extended sizing is becoming more common, sure. But the caveat to "we now offer extended sizing" is the fact that that extended size is usually not available in all styles, they only get one size 18 in store or, even worse (and unfortunately more common) extended sizing is only available online. So they don't have to see you in store. Thanks so much. This hellscape is magnified once you go to a size 20,22 and 24.

"But Amy" - you ask - "surely sizing available online is better than no sizing at all?" Sure. If you like. But I was in a lovely boutique the other day where the genuinely delightful (but incredibly slim) staff were talking about how they never order anything online because it's too unreliable and they just like to try things on to see the fit. ME TOO BABES! I would love to be able to try things on before I purchase but unless I'm willing to accept the dregs of what's in store in my size that just ain't an option. So I have to order online to access the brands that cater to me, my style, my size. Then depending on the brand I pay the cost of shipping. Then if it doesn't fit I also pay the cost to ship it back. And I still have nothing to show for it except that $20 donation I just made to Australia post and a sense of futile despair.

When it comes to what IS available - usually a "curve range" let's talk about the way we style these options in comparison to 'regulars size' fashion. The images below are from the same brand. The first is from their 'curve' range and the second is their 'regular' range. What the actual holy moly is going on? Curve model is beautiful but the styling is non existent. " Lets put her in this big shirt and hide her tummy , we'll add some wide pants to hide it further and give her some sensible flats because that's what plus-size women want right?" Bleugh. Now look at the regular size model wearing a very similar fit. "Shirt tucked in, let's give her some shape! A nice tailored pant will look great and then let's give her some heels to really finish it off!"

This is another way we are told/shown that we don't deserve the pretty things! We might be fat, but not all of us want to hide away in over sized clothes and shapeless smocks. Please stop designing and styling your curve range like we do! Stop giving us the ugliest floral print you can find! Stop giving us garish tees and cold shoulders! I don't want capri pants, or weirdly shaped tiered skirts or tents masquerading as dresses! I WANT OPTIONS TO EXPRESS MY STYLE LIKE THE SMALL SIZES HAVE! Is that too much to ask?

If you are not plus-size, the next time you are in a shopping centre I dare you to find the curve ranges in a department store or Big W, wherever and compare it to what you have available. And then imagine that this was all you have to choose from on that Saturday morning shopping trip before that event.

When you step into that trendy high end boutique just take a moment and check for the sizes on offer. A decision to stock brands that stop at a 14 is a concious one (soz but it is) and that decision is that you do not want plus-size people in your store. You are not even trying to be inclusive. Even a bit. We talk about body confidence and the struggles around body image but we will happily shop in a store that clearly doesn't believe in that same thing and is not even making a token effort to pretend like it does?! We do not need another store or brand who only caters for small sizes. The market is saturated! You have your pick! Can we not look up and start thinking of things other than what's immediately on the rack in front of us?

Part way through last year I decided if I was genuine about size inclusion I needed to make an effort to put my money where my mouth was. I personally committed to not shopping with stores or brands that didn't offer some form of extended sizing (which really is the bare minimum). My option dropped dramatically but it was a very interesting exercise to conciously consider how many brands don't. Can you imagine if we all did that? If we said that unless brands made a meaningful attempt at extending their sizing (and I'm not even going to the extreme of being actually size inclusive at this point) we were not going to spend our money there?!? Or what if we said if we couldn't see age, ability, colour and body diversity in their marketing, website, in their campaigns we wouldn't purchase?

SHOW ME THE 18 ON AN 18 PLEASE!!!!! Show me a belly in the clothing! We have them! I want to know how that dress will look if I'm breathing and not wearing 6 layers of shapewear!!!!! I adore the plus-size glamazons, they're so beautiful, but surely there is room for us shorter beauties who are thick in the waist and cute in the face too?

A few years ago I attended the Curve Edit runway at Sydney Fashion Week and I was so delighted and hopeful for the future of plus-size fashion and the glimmer of seeing more size inclusive brands and runway representation. That glimmer feels dull right now.

There are some amazing brands doing some amazing work (Vagary, Embody Women, Harlow, Kholo, We Are Golden Hour, Golden The Label just to name a few) but they are largely small enterprises trying to get themselves out there to the audience who desperately needs them. If you can, please get out there and spend your $$$ with the people who care about creating fashion that's inclusive at all levels! Who you choose to support with your hard earned cash matters!

This was a long one friends. If you've made it this far, thanks! A lot of points to make, a lot sitting in my head. If you are reading this and you are plus-size, I'm sorry that this is how things are. I am still hopeful it can get better. If you are reading this and you are not plus-size, please please please think about how you can support inclusion so your plus-size friend (me if you can't think of one in your life) can go shopping in the mall with you one day without needing to hyperventilate into a paper bag first.

Thanks for reading

Amy